back alley

1. put peanut butter in impossible places like the inside of a plastic coke bottle and give it to him / her

2. take his favorite toy and give it to the next door neighbor’s dog

3. turn on Animal Channel and bark every time you see a squirrel

4. tie a feather to his tail

5. pretend to pet his mirror reflection

6. lie in his bed and make cat noises

7. when people come over to pet him, say he has a slight case of rabies, but he is now almost totally over it

8. throw an ice cube on the floor